Advance or happenstance?

The way I see it, there are two ways to go about things: plan them out or let them happen to you.

I used to let things happen to me. I thought I was wild and free, and that planning was boring. I ended up in a not very great relationship, with a not very closely considered mortgage, with my hair always having roots, and with whatever mish-mosh clothes caught my eye instead of a closet full of coordinated outfits.

Let me break this down. I went with the flow. Shit happened to me, and it wasn’t always what I would have chosen for myself. But still, I let it go because it was better than being a planner.

Then, as I got older, I realized this about myself. Part of it was seeing how established the new man in my life was because of planning. This person, who is now my husband, is a habitual list-maker. And you know what, he gets shit done. And he showed me how to get shit done. And now I actually have shit done (like this blog!!!).


Zen Sanctuary; my sanctuary every month. Don’t you just want to walk through this magic portal!?

Admittedly, I haven’t embraced planning entirely. But one small improvement I’ve made is in my self-care. I realized that I was always letting my hair get to the point of looking terrible before I called to schedule my next hair appointment. Then, if my stylist wasn’t available, I’d have to wait even longer. I was spending too much time walking around looking rough.

It occurred to me that I could just schedule my next hair appointment upon finishing the current one. (LET THAT SINK IN.) That way, I’d never get to the point of looking a mess. (Your stylist will love you for this. It allows them to better plan out their days.) And now that my salon has a manicurist, I get that done while my color processes. Efficient!


Nail station at Bluxom Salon! The copper pleasure dome is naturally antimicrobial. And the space is fresh because acrylic nails are not on the menu (bye, filing dust!). 

Then I did the same with monthly massages and any other routine services. And I noticed that I felt more in control of my life and also more cared for. It also felt luxurious to put these appointments on the calendar, as if they were of the utmost importance. And the cost is the same, whereas the payout is much, much greater.


2 responses to “Advance or happenstance?”

  1. […] kind of like making a to-do list, which I’ve talked about in a previous post (see Advance or happenstance?). Lists create a space where I can park my thoughts, removing them from inside my head and thereby […]


  2. […] here for previous post about lists & organization, and here for a post with an actual spreadsheet, […]


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